Leaving Home For The Second Time

Fair warning this post could get a little emotional, but I am going to be honest with you.

Recently I was having a conversation where a woman asked me to finish this sentence: I am             . She looked at me first and I said ” I am a woman” then she turned to my mother to which my mother replied, “I am a mother”. I felt so much love from her response.To me, this was another display of the amazing and committed mother she is. Out of all the things my Mom could have chosen, wife, sister, white, or beautiful she chose mother. I have the most selfless and caring mother.

Family is such a huge part of my life. Family dinners are one of my favorite times; I look forward to the four of us sitting around the table talking about our days . Those moments are irreplaceable. We fight, a lot, but we also make each other laugh till we cry. One of those people who can do that like no other is my incredibly beautiful sister, Zoe! She is the craziest person I know. If I am having a bad day this girl can give me a look that makes all that go away.

My Mom and Zoe helped me set up my room this weekend and we spent some quality time together. It made me appreciate the time I had with them. But, when it came time to say goodbye I found myself feeling the same emotions I felt last year. As I have said before, my mother is my best friend. Which makes it quite difficult for me to say goodbye to my house and her. This goodbye felt a bit different because now I am living on my own in an apartment.

To be honest I felt like I should not be sad. I thought I should be so excited to live in this house with my friends (which I am), but I felt a pang in my heart. I felt this small panic about cooking my own food and wondering if I know how to take care of a house. Most teenagers want freedom from their parents, but I do not feel smothered (most of the time) by my parents.

I chose a school 5.5 hours from my house. This really challenged me, but I have met so many amazing people here that they have become my second family. I came into the house from saying goodbye to my family, only to be welcomed by a hug from my roommate. These types of things make that hurt a bit easier to deal with.

As I write this I am sitting on the porch of my first apartment pep-talking myself. I know that I am going to be fine, because I have a second family in St. Paul Minnesota. I have lots of excitement about this upcoming school year that is motivating me. Sure I get a bit watery eyed when I think about home, but it has only been 5 hours and I am already feeling better. To all my freshman out there, don’t take those hugs and smiles for granted.

With school coming that means my daily (yes daily) talks with my mother will be coming back. It means that Zoe will FaceTime me to show Cody holding one of our dishrags. It is quite different to be away from my tight-knit family, but everyone has to eventually leave the nest. I always say to my mother “We would not be this sad if we didn’t love each other”. This always makes me laugh because it is so true.

To my family, I am only a phone call away and I love you so much.

I wanted to share these thoughts with you because someone else might feel the same way. I know I feel this way because I have a strong love for my family. I hope that you feel the same about yours. Tell your loved ones that you care about them.

Thanks for reading!

-A

 

 

2 thoughts on “Leaving Home For The Second Time

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